KinkyGeek

You would think that all this talk about going to a swingers party and looking up personal ads online would get the hormones flowing and the sex batteries fully charged. In the case of Laura you would be dead wrong. Yesterday I worked from home and spent the better part of the day on conference calls with customers. In between calls I messed around with this blog, chatted with Sara about the party arrangements for Saturday, and tried to keep busy with work. Laura was gone for the better part of the day. She brought the kids to get a haircut and got her eyebrows waxed. She went to lunch with her Grandparents at a nice little Italian restaurant they have been going to for as long as I have been alive. In the afternoon she brought the kids to Toys R Us to look for a Wii fit. I finished working at around 4:30 and hopped on the treadmill. The kids were “starving” so Laura fed them their favorite – Chocolate Chip Pancakes. After dinner they were giving her a rough time and she couldn’t take it anymore so she told be she was going to go shopping for a dress she needed. She waved me goodbye while I was on the treadmill and I didn’t see her till after the kids were in bed.

I was horny as hell. Granted I was reading Sex blogs and chatting with my new swinger friends so that may have had something to do with it. For some reason I also feel really horny after I work out. Anyway, I knew that if I was going to get some action I would have to get on her good side. What better way than to pick up the house? it was a fucking disaster. The kids toys were everywhere! I spend 45 minutes picking up nerf suction cup darts for their toy guns, Matchbox Cars, Spider Man web blasters, video games, fake plastic McDonald’s hamburgers and milkshakes. Next I emptied the dishwasher. Filled it back up with all the shit in the sink plus the random glasses sprinkled throughout the house by the kids, washed the big dishes and the filthy cheese and milk encrusted stove (from the one dinner Laura prepared), cleaned all the counter tops, cleaned all the empty diet coke bottles & junk mail out of office and emptied both the plastic and paper recyclables. I was a regular cleaning machine. Now granted the house wasn’t perfect. I couldn’t vacuum because the kids would have woken up but it was 100% better than it was.

So Laura strolls in and doesn’t even say a word. She goes on and on about all the shit she bought and plops down in front of her computer. I casually mentioned that we had some new mail on SwingLifeStyle and went upstairs to take a shower. When I came down she was still looking at the site. She was reading the mail and asked if I got the invitation to the party on Saturday. I told her I had and I watched her navigate through different peoples profiles on the site. We looked at personals and laughed at some of the “Scary People” who post pictures on that site. I was getting impatient and I told her I was sooooo horny and that I wanted her.

Excuse #1: She told me her stomach was really hurting her.
I decided to go to my office and dick around for a while. I was chatting with a buddy from work and we were playing Facebook poker. I started IM’ing Laura. I told her I wanted to take her down to the theater (I have a movie theatre in the basement), bend her over the front row of seats, and fuck her brains out.

Excuse #1: She told me she had a MAJOR headache.

My hopes were crushed and I was plain old pissed off at this point. I decided to call it a night and went up to join her in bed. I brought a book with me since she was in our master bathroom with the lights on. A few moments later she joined me in bed and really pissed me off…

“So what did you do while I was gone”, she said.

Not much. I let the kids play on NickJr.com with my laptop and your laptop and I cleaned the whole house.

So you didn’t spend any time with them.

I DID spend time with them and I cleaned the house while they were playing games.

You didn’t clean the WHOLE HOUSE, Laura replied.

Uhhh yeah. I picked up all the shit, cleaned the kitchen, emptied the recycle and picked up upstairs.

Uhhh NO you didn’t. The house wasn’t that bad when I left. You really only cleaned the kitchen.

At this point I was really fucking pissed. I did more cleaning in a couple hours than she does in a couple days but whatever! I told her I was going to bed and asked if she would let the dog out. She told me to do it myself. At this point I just rolled over, said NO and went to bed. Rodney Dangerfield said it best. “I get no Respect”